Therapy for Couples and Relationships

CONNECTION AND COMMUNICATION • CHANGE PATTERNS OF CONFLICT • RECOVERY FROM INFIDELITY • MARRIAGE and COMMITMENT PREPARATION • COPARENTING AND FAMILY • WORKING TOGETHER THROUGH TRANSITIONS • INTIMACY & SEX • BUILDING FRIENDSHIP AND RESPECT

I love being a couples therapist. Our partnerships in life are our most important relationships, and I feel honored to support the couples who come for my help. Partnerships bring us happiness, closeness, pleasure, and friendship. You partner is the person in the world that you walk through life with.

I’ve witnessed first hand the challenges that long term relationships face, especially so in a Pandemic. I’ve pursued extensive training to understand how to help couples navigate life, and find connection and fulfillment in each other along the way.

I believe that connection and emotional safety are the keys to happiness in relationships. But unfortunately, we tend to become stuck in negative patterns that reinforce disconnection. What we bring to the relationship is formed through our experiences with past relationships and our histories. Through the use of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Method Couple Therapy, I help clients to become aware of these patterns and change them. Through this, we can have new healthy interactions and experience more vulnerable communication and connections. Couples therapy will helps us to have new ways of understanding ourselves and one another. Couples therapy helps us to learn to reach for each other again.

I work with many types of couples, partnerships and families.
I am LGBTQ+ celebrating and affirming.

General areas of focus:

Disconnection or Loss of Emotional Connection from Partner • Difficulty Communicating • Resolving Conflict • Recovering from Emotional or Physical Infidelity • Addressing Intimacy or Physical Sexual Concerns • Rebuilding Trust • Healing Emotional Injuries • Navigating New Relationship Structures Together

Sex and intimacy:

Disparity in desire • Rekindling desire • Exploring together • Creating emotional safety and closeness to foster physical intimacy

betrayal and infidelity:

Recovering from Emotional or Physical Infidelity • Rebuilding Trust • Getting to “The Root” of Why this Happened

preparing for cohabitation & life partnership:

Transition to living together • Defining and dividing roles in the household • Creating equitable households • Discussing expectations of the future • Understanding our patterns that get us stuck

parents:

Preparing for pregnancy and family • Supporting each other as individuals • Making time for the Couple as well as Mom and Dad • Learning to better support your partner in their parenting journey • Parental Mental Health • Coparenting and intentional families • Empty Nesting • Finding Meaning in Life Transitions

Non-monogomous and Non-heteronormative Relationships:

Polyamory • Open relationships • Relationship Anarchy • Triads • Kink & Fet.

Some things you may not know about couples counseling:

We focus more on the process of your communication rather than the content.
Rather than focusing on specific issues, I want to help you learn about the cycles and patterns that keep you stuck. This will help you to better communicate and connect, and resolve conflict when it does come up.
Watch the “Taming the Cycle” video on my resources page to understand more about what I mean by the pattern!
Your past experiences shape how you show up. Take this Attachment Style quiz to learn what your attachment style may be. Through couples therapy, I can help you and your partner to heal your attachment to one another and show up more securely as partners for each other.

how to know if couples therapy may be right for you:

If you want to make sure you and your partner don’t repeat unhealthy patterns that you may have learned from childhood or previous experiences.
If you want to deepen connection, and the ability to communicate, and improve physical and emotional intimacy.
If you are having conflict that feels like it repeats, and never gets to “resolution”.
If you would like to get to the root of relationship problems instead of staying on the surface.
If you and your partner are recovering from a betrayal or infidelity and want to do everything you can to heal together.
+ Many more. Schedule a free video consultation to discuss your situation, and how therapy would be with me.

how to get the most out of the process:

Read “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson. This book is written for couples by the creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. It is a great intro that can introduce you to the concepts we use in our therapy, and can help you begin to gain insight about how you show up in your relationship cycle.
Don’t wait until the relationship is in crisis. Couples therapy can teach you many skills and create positive dynamics in the relationship that are best to apply early on.
Focus on yourself rather than your partner. We all have a part in the overall dynamic and the most helpful thing I see in the therapy process is when both partners are willing to look at their side.
Schedule consistently. We want to scaffold from each session into the next, and work to get momentum and change outside of the session. Couples will get the most out of the process if they schedule every week or two weeks at the most.
Let your therapist guide the process. Couples therapy is a process that starts by creating safety, trust, and understanding. This needs to go at an appropriate pace for the couple. Please trust your couples therapist to help guide you through the process.
Learn More on my Blog:

FAQ

How does the Couples therapy process begin?

I start by meeting with the couple for an initial intake session together. During this, we cover what’s bringing you in, some of the history about the relationship, and I will talk to you about the couple therapy process. Then, I want to meet with each partner for one individual intake session per person. After that, we will meet all together for all future sessions unless we make an exception. See the ‘Couples Therapy’ under services section to read more about my approach to couples therapy.

What do you cover in the individual intakes for couples therapy?

Our past experiences, relationships, and family of origin shapes our templates for how we see and show up in relationships. I use a thorough assessment to gain insight into you and your past experiences during the individual intake, and integrate this information into our couples sessions.

View full FAQ page here

RELATIONSHIP & SEXUAL MINORITIES:
NON-HETERONORMATIVE AND NON-MONOGOMOUS RELATIONSHIPS, KINK, AND OTHER LIFESTYLES

I have extensive experience with working with all kinds of relationship structures, using Attachment theory as an underlying source to find understanding in how and why relationships bonds function healthily.

I absolutely believe that non-monogamous and non-heteronormative relationships can be healthy & happy. Unfortunately, I know that there are divided camps in the couples therapy world (and other biases that get in the way), so please know that if a nontraditional relationship structure applies to you — know that you are safe & accepted by me.

These relationships require support and elevated communication skills. I do my best to educate myself on the growing language around relationship minorities.

Fees:

All couples therapy sessions are 50 minutes minimally.

My fee is $180/55min for couples therapy. A sliding scale fee is available for POC and LGBTQ+; please inquire for more information.