When you look up the word “courting”, the definition is: to pay special attention to (someone) in an attempt to win their support or favor. This makes sense to us when we think about the beginning of a relationship. We all do this… early on.
But couples should continuously do this in their relationship. The special attention, the effort, and the thoughtfulness should never stop in a loving relationship. I’ve noticed something lately though: there is that there’s a lot of socialization about women needing this, and not as much about men.
We hear that women want flowers, they want to be taken to a nice dinner and then the movies, etc. etc. Now, of course those things don’t fit for all women. I asked my fiancé to only get me house plants instead of flowers because to me they’re prettier and last longer – but that’s my personal preference. My fiancé also knows that when he is trying to show me he loves me, he can write me a note or even just make up the bed (Hey Sidney, I hope you’re seeing this!).
Women aren’t the only people who want this though. In fact, not only does everyone want it – everyone needs it!
I originally started this post wanting to promote partners taking men on dates (this does not just apply to heterosexual relationships). But when I started I realized that the need is so much bigger than that. Lately I have heard so many men in my office saying how they feel taken for granted, unappreciated, and like the hard work they do for their families is something just expected. No one should feel this way! We need to continuously remind the men in our lives how much we love them: we need to court them. Men need someone to do special and sweet things just for them, too, not just women. What men want may be different, but I think those things are different for everyone no matter the gender. If you know your partner well enough, you can court him in a way that he will love.
I’m going to give you some ideas, but remember that the real effort is you doing something that you know your guy will love.
- Cook a steak dinner at home and do the grilling for him
- Pick him up and take him somewhere nice to watch the sunrise
- Get him tickets for you both to see that team he’s been dying to see
- Get his car cleaned, oil changed, etc. for him.. men seem to really love their cars
- Leave him a sweet note somewhere he will find it at work
- Set aside time to help with that project he’s been working on for months
- Do his house chores for him when you know he’s had a long day
- Surprise him at work with his favorite take-out
- Send delivery food home when you’re out of town to show you’re thinking of him (my grandmother told me when I was 8 years old that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and I whole heartedly believe her!).
- Pick up some new under clothes that you know will thrill him
These are just ideas, but the message is clear: men need to feel important, loved and pursued just as much as women do. Just because they may not ask for it, doesn’t mean that it’s not something that they would love and appreciate so much from the person they love most in the world. We all wanted to be reminded how much out partner cares about us, and that doesn’t stop after we move past dating to engagement or marriage. In fact, it’s more important as we get more comfortable with each other.
Thanks for reading and keep connected,
Kelsey